Everybody looks forward in attending the Simbang Gabi during Christmas time. It starts at 16th of December but the anticipated mass starts at the night of December 15. I attended my first Simbang Gabi when I was 3rd year high school with some of my friends. Haha! I remember the first day. They came to fetch me but I didn't wake up! Man! Nakakahiya talaga. I was planning to have this particular memory erased, well if I can, I would. Unfortunately my brain's not that cooperative. Lol.

I remember very well all the Simbang Gabi's I attended. All of them with my friends. The only time I didn't get to go was last year when we moved here in Manila.

But this year, hindi ko talaga pinalampas ang Simbang Gabi. This year is to be a year of Thanksgiving. I didn't make a wish for myself. I simply want to be there to thank God for the strength He gave me this 2008. For I've been through soooo much. Pero hindi ko masyado napansin. He is really there.=)

Si mama ang kasama ko sa Simbang Gabi. We take turns in waking each other up in fear of missing a day of the novena. The mass here in Sto. Niño de Pandacan Church starts at 4.45 am. Not as early as the others. (In our church in Queensrow sa Cavite, it starts at 4) We thought we're late but fortunately we weren't. Syempre dahil unang araw ng Simbang gabi, napakaraming tao hanggang sa labas. And there were like 10 soldiers outside. Well, we are near Malacañang and the Petron Oil Depot so I guess that explains the soldiers. They look friendly though. Not that intimidating. What got to my nerves was the big number of people (highschool students mostly) who were outside, who I think just came because of peer pressure just to babble noisily in the church grounds. So mom and I had a hard time listening to the homily. Good thing we found a good spot on the side of the church.

And boy I was so glad. Father Larry gives the most insightful homilies. Daming quotable quotes. Wish I have my notebook with me. Haha.

Here are some:

• Noong unang panahon, pag ang dalaga ay nabuntis ng walang asawa, she is stoned to death. Sa panahon ngayon, if you are still a virgin, you will be stoned to death. (haha. Of course he's joking!)
• Ang mga anak, kailan man o saan man, ay hindi ibinigay ng Diyos para maging pabigat sa tao.
• Kung magulang ka at nasabi mo sa sarili mo na pabigat ang mga anak mo, tatanungin din kita kung anong klaseng magulang ka?
• A love not translated into action isn't love at all.
• Love all. Love all the time. Love all the time, all the way.

• Pag nagmahal ka, huwag kang maghihintay ng tamang oras o pagkakataon, dahil ang lahat ng oras ay ang tamang pagkakataon. (this is my personal favorite!)

Mas marami pa sana yan kaso hindi naman lahat maalala ko. Marami ka talagang matututunan ke Father. I love his sarcasm too. Maligalig din kasi. Haha. Medyo pinagalitan pa niya yung choir (kasi mas malakas ang piano sa kanila) at nag-responsorial psalm (dahil hindi sya sure sa notes-dapat daw hindi na lang kinanta kasi pati tao nalilito sa tono. hehe..)

What topped my fave simbang gabi moment was when I attended with my friends after my sister's debut. As in walang tulugan. Kaya ng may nakita kaming lalakeng natutulog the ENTIRE TIME of the mass, we fought ourselves not to throw something at him! Gosh! We're (well I am!) really pissed off that time I didn't took the communion coz I'm too annoyed. But still I'm happy I got to go with them. Akala ko hindi na mauulit.=)

I was alone at the last day of Simbang gabi. I didn't wake mama up coz I know she slept late (or else her BP will shoot up again) so I went alone. See, sometimes I like going to mass alone for I get to reflect more, learn more and hear more (from Him). The last day was liberating. Even though I didn't get to complete the novena coz was not feeling well on the 7th and 8th day. But I did accomplish something. Ngayon, nasimulan ko talaga ang mass. I really heard the Gospel readings. I tried my best not to fall asleep and I know that I listened with all my heart.

Hindi ko naman habol ang wish. Masarap lang talaga ang feeling that you get to do that for His sake this time. Not for yourself. Okay I made a wish. But it's just for my family. I'm just a minor in this case. Haha. Kung ako lang pwedeng wag na. I just want to thank God this time, that's it. I owe Him so much.

And fyi everyone, eventhough wala pa kong nakukumpletong simbang gabi, wala pa ata akong wish na hindi natupad. Haha. Lol. Sabi nga nila, ang lakas ko daw sa Taas. I don't abuse it though. Siguro it's a matter of how you make the wish. If you wish with all your heart, with sincerity, with God, nothing is impossible. I remember the first wish that I made. I won't tell. But hey, I'm in highschool, I'm a kid! I don't know what I'm thinking. Haha. Simula non, natutunan ko na totoo ang kasabihang: Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it. And hey, I did. I was happy of course. I was just...young I think. Unprepared. Fickle-minded. Did I regret it? Wishing it, no. But hurting someone, yes. Turning back time will I make that wish again? No. I guess not. I'll just let fate decide what is. Wah. Crazy, crazy little me. But hey, I did love. ;p

Right now I miss the Simbang gabi. Mas at peace ako ngayon. Siguro nga kasi talagang nakinig ako. Now I'm definitely looking forward next year. That's when I'll be making my real wish. Haha!

Today, I am looking forward to 2009-I'm a little afraid still of what's in store. Guess I have to make my New Year's resolution.

But for now my hands and arms are hurting. I have to stop. Okay. I will. Ciao guys! xoxo.