Everybody looks forward in attending the Simbang Gabi during Christmas time. It starts at 16th of December but the anticipated mass starts at the night of December 15. I attended my first Simbang Gabi when I was 3rd year high school with some of my friends. Haha! I remember the first day. They came to fetch me but I didn't wake up! Man! Nakakahiya talaga. I was planning to have this particular memory erased, well if I can, I would. Unfortunately my brain's not that cooperative. Lol.

I remember very well all the Simbang Gabi's I attended. All of them with my friends. The only time I didn't get to go was last year when we moved here in Manila.

But this year, hindi ko talaga pinalampas ang Simbang Gabi. This year is to be a year of Thanksgiving. I didn't make a wish for myself. I simply want to be there to thank God for the strength He gave me this 2008. For I've been through soooo much. Pero hindi ko masyado napansin. He is really there.=)

Si mama ang kasama ko sa Simbang Gabi. We take turns in waking each other up in fear of missing a day of the novena. The mass here in Sto. Niño de Pandacan Church starts at 4.45 am. Not as early as the others. (In our church in Queensrow sa Cavite, it starts at 4) We thought we're late but fortunately we weren't. Syempre dahil unang araw ng Simbang gabi, napakaraming tao hanggang sa labas. And there were like 10 soldiers outside. Well, we are near Malacañang and the Petron Oil Depot so I guess that explains the soldiers. They look friendly though. Not that intimidating. What got to my nerves was the big number of people (highschool students mostly) who were outside, who I think just came because of peer pressure just to babble noisily in the church grounds. So mom and I had a hard time listening to the homily. Good thing we found a good spot on the side of the church.

And boy I was so glad. Father Larry gives the most insightful homilies. Daming quotable quotes. Wish I have my notebook with me. Haha.

Here are some:

• Noong unang panahon, pag ang dalaga ay nabuntis ng walang asawa, she is stoned to death. Sa panahon ngayon, if you are still a virgin, you will be stoned to death. (haha. Of course he's joking!)
• Ang mga anak, kailan man o saan man, ay hindi ibinigay ng Diyos para maging pabigat sa tao.
• Kung magulang ka at nasabi mo sa sarili mo na pabigat ang mga anak mo, tatanungin din kita kung anong klaseng magulang ka?
• A love not translated into action isn't love at all.
• Love all. Love all the time. Love all the time, all the way.

• Pag nagmahal ka, huwag kang maghihintay ng tamang oras o pagkakataon, dahil ang lahat ng oras ay ang tamang pagkakataon. (this is my personal favorite!)

Mas marami pa sana yan kaso hindi naman lahat maalala ko. Marami ka talagang matututunan ke Father. I love his sarcasm too. Maligalig din kasi. Haha. Medyo pinagalitan pa niya yung choir (kasi mas malakas ang piano sa kanila) at nag-responsorial psalm (dahil hindi sya sure sa notes-dapat daw hindi na lang kinanta kasi pati tao nalilito sa tono. hehe..)

What topped my fave simbang gabi moment was when I attended with my friends after my sister's debut. As in walang tulugan. Kaya ng may nakita kaming lalakeng natutulog the ENTIRE TIME of the mass, we fought ourselves not to throw something at him! Gosh! We're (well I am!) really pissed off that time I didn't took the communion coz I'm too annoyed. But still I'm happy I got to go with them. Akala ko hindi na mauulit.=)

I was alone at the last day of Simbang gabi. I didn't wake mama up coz I know she slept late (or else her BP will shoot up again) so I went alone. See, sometimes I like going to mass alone for I get to reflect more, learn more and hear more (from Him). The last day was liberating. Even though I didn't get to complete the novena coz was not feeling well on the 7th and 8th day. But I did accomplish something. Ngayon, nasimulan ko talaga ang mass. I really heard the Gospel readings. I tried my best not to fall asleep and I know that I listened with all my heart.

Hindi ko naman habol ang wish. Masarap lang talaga ang feeling that you get to do that for His sake this time. Not for yourself. Okay I made a wish. But it's just for my family. I'm just a minor in this case. Haha. Kung ako lang pwedeng wag na. I just want to thank God this time, that's it. I owe Him so much.

And fyi everyone, eventhough wala pa kong nakukumpletong simbang gabi, wala pa ata akong wish na hindi natupad. Haha. Lol. Sabi nga nila, ang lakas ko daw sa Taas. I don't abuse it though. Siguro it's a matter of how you make the wish. If you wish with all your heart, with sincerity, with God, nothing is impossible. I remember the first wish that I made. I won't tell. But hey, I'm in highschool, I'm a kid! I don't know what I'm thinking. Haha. Simula non, natutunan ko na totoo ang kasabihang: Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it. And hey, I did. I was happy of course. I was just...young I think. Unprepared. Fickle-minded. Did I regret it? Wishing it, no. But hurting someone, yes. Turning back time will I make that wish again? No. I guess not. I'll just let fate decide what is. Wah. Crazy, crazy little me. But hey, I did love. ;p

Right now I miss the Simbang gabi. Mas at peace ako ngayon. Siguro nga kasi talagang nakinig ako. Now I'm definitely looking forward next year. That's when I'll be making my real wish. Haha!

Today, I am looking forward to 2009-I'm a little afraid still of what's in store. Guess I have to make my New Year's resolution.

But for now my hands and arms are hurting. I have to stop. Okay. I will. Ciao guys! xoxo.

Well actually, that's not a very appropriate title. Yun lang talaga ang pakiramdam ko. Argh. Massive headache plus cough and cold. Damn. My sight's all blurry.

Anyway, back to the title. What's the most common advice people give? Hmm. Nababasa ko 'to lalo na sa mga autograph books nung elemetary pa ko. Anu pa ba kung hindi ang walang kamatayang: BE YOURSELF.

Ha! Ha. Ha. Ha. I've read in an article sometime when I was still in high school that the worst advice anyone can give is exactly that, to be yourself. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan noon kung bakit nasabi ito ng writer. Magpakatotoo sa sarili? How can that be the worst advice?

Growing up (erm.. maturing I guess since I didn't "grow" up-hehe.), I realized slowly the reason why...still making theories but I think none fits well. I have ideas though.

Siguro kasi it's an incomplete advice. I mean how can you be yourself IF you don't know yourself? Commonly given when we're young, looking for our identities, searching for who we really are and all, how can we positively say that we know who we are 100%? Most especially in this very, very pretentious world where money is the center of everything.

At pano nga naman ba natin makikilala ang mga sarili natin? It's a process I guess, to know what we like, dislike, want, desire and need. I bet as we grow old we still discover things about ourselves. Somethings about us change but some remains the same. At kung bata ka naman, susunod ka lang sa gusto ng mga kaibigan mo.

Sa edad na 20, masasabi ko na nga bang kilala ko na talaga ang sarili ko? Hindi rin. Pabag-bago pa rin ang isip ko sa maraming bagay. Pero meron din akong ugaling hindi nagbabago. Gaya ng mga prinsipyo at paniniwala ko sa buhay. Ito ang mga bagay na hindi ko tatanggalin at ipagpapalit. Ito kumbaga ang "foundation" ng aking pagkatao at kung paano ako humarap sa mga problema at makitungo sa iba.

Minsan, nawawala din ako sa sarili ko. Tipong hindi ko na ata matandaan kung sino ako. Sa mga pagkakataong ito anu ang ginagawa ko? Simple. Anong ginagawa ng mga KAIBIGAN? May mga tao lang talagang minsan, mas kilala ka pa kesa sa sarili mo at sila ang dapat mong hanapin kapag pakiramdam mo nakakalimutan o nakalimutan mo na kung sino ka. At mabuti rin, may mga tao akong mapapagkatiwalaan sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. May taga-tago sa'kin pag kailangan kong magpahinga o mag-tago sa magulong mundo.

Dahil may taga-tago ako at alam ko ang pakiramdam ng gustong "mag-tago", ginagawa ko din ang makakaya ko para maging mabuting taga-tago ng mga kaibigan ko. Hindi ko lang sila kasama sa saya. Mas gusto kong ako ang unang tinatawagan nila pag may problema o pag taguan na. At sana, nagagawa ko ang part ko gaya ng ginagawa nila para sa buhay ko.

Sana. Sana nga.=)

AIRPORT SECURITY: What's your name?

PASSENGER: Batman.

AS: Your real name, please.

P: My name IS Batman.

AS: Are you trying to be funny?! What's your surname?

P: Superman.

Airport security handcuffs him & puts him in a locked security facility.

Then they checked his passport (attached).

Technically Batman bin Suparman means Batman is a son of the Suparman Clan....

haha! got this one from francis magalona's blog.

(francismagalona.multiply.com)

Whew!

After all the almost sleepless nights, I'm finally done reading the Twilight ebook. I love it! Last few chapters were the best. Edward saving Bella and all. She was like a princess and he was her knight in shining erm..Volvo! Haha. Plus his family also loves her and wants her to be kept alive at all cost. Sweer. Lucky Bella. Love the story.

But still I don't think it must be compared to Harry Potter. Creativity-wise, I think J.K. Rowling wrote the story better. Like she's a Hogwarts graduate herself, or a descendant from the Potter family. She told the story in full details unlike for Meyer who didn't even tell the detailed story of how Edward saved Bella and how James was killed in the end. All I read was Bella just closed her eyes from pain, got saved by Edward (him sucking James' venom out of her system) and waking up in the hospital afterwards. She (Meyer) told the story only in Bella's point of view. Honestly I think it will be kind of biased since only Bella's side is always heard, and I want to know more about Edward! Haha. Yun yun eh. What he's thinking most of the time stuffs like that. And don't you think they fell in love a little too quick? Haha. But reading how the author described Edward, if he's not fictional, it's not really that impossible, right? Okay I'm biased with Edward. Sorry. LOL.

In all fairness to Bella, I think Edward saw (or smelled! haha) something in her that he didn't see in others in all his 90 years being alive. To him she's special and fragile, someone to be protected at all cost, to him she's different from all others. And the fact that she's not afraid of him or his family made him love her even more. She's even considering the possibility of him turning her into a vampire so they can be together forever. (Edward has too decide right away coz human bodies grow old.Ü) Oh well, I think the whole book is really about their lovestory and not of any other things. I thought she's launch a different theory and stories about vampires and their history like Anne Rice. She failed my expectations.

I think the very reason, the biggest reason people loved Twilight series so much is because it's a love story. Even though we're in the modern times, a good story about a star-crossed lovers, (with fantasy theme especially) is what people wants to read. And Twilight gave them a dose of that, of romance with just the right amount of sugar and spice.

Now, it got me thinking what will I do if I were in Bella's place, just as in love (he was her 1st love by the way.) as she is, will I choose to be a vampire instead?

Hmm. Good thing I'm not Bella. Haha. Anyway, growing up, of course I've been through a stage where had fascinations about the unknown. Yes, ghosts, fairytales, magic spells, vampires and witches.

I don't think I'll make a good vampire though. Kung vampire kaya ako, anu kayang special power ko? Edward's ability to read peoples minds, Alice's power to foresee the future or Jasper's ability to influence and feel the emotions of others. Now if I were a witch, I can probably do all of those (just like in Harry Potter! ha!) I'd rather be a witch than a vampire I think. I am not much of an active person. And besides, Bella wants to be a vampire because she wants to be with Edward forever. Now if I were to be a vampire and can live forever, I don't really know who or what I would live for. Maybe if I find my own Edward I can answer that question.

But for now, I'll be a witch. =)