Saturday, December 13, 2014

Random Musings

Don't you just sometimes wish you can start your life from a scratch? A clean slate. A blank canvass. Where everything and everyone around you is new, not even your old friends or family to remind you of the past. Do you dream of getting away to somewhere where you are a stranger? To go to a place where no one will care about the A's you may or may not have gotten, what your religion is, whether you have a diploma or if you are a licensed whatever. And in that place you can make mistakes without judgements, make new mistakes or better yet, take a cue from the past--take the same risks but this time you'll know for sure what steps you have to make and/or where want to go.

Can we do that? Can we go there?

Monday, October 27, 2014


Here is another post apologizing (mostly to myself) for not being able to write more often. 

I hope to solve that with the Blogger app I downloaded on my iPod.

What you are reading is what we call a "test" post since I wrote this and posted it via the app. I decided to download the Blogger app since I don't always have an internet connection nor my laptop with me. I've been looking for a good (and free!) app for blogging because I always have my iPod with me. It's basically an extension of myself! Haha. I was only able to find the app for Wordpress but sadly, the app for Bloggr wasn't available that time. But now it's here!

Okay so I don't and won't expect much from a free app. I expect to use it for just short posts with minimal photos. What you're reading now is how it is. 

This is a screencap of its interface. You can't change alignments, no auto-save or  spell checker and you can't put a caption for your pictures. Oh and there is no option to view comments, too. I'm a bit worried about how my screencaps would appear upon publishing the post but well, this is just a test post. With the auto-save problem, I'll just copy the whole post before posting in the mean time just to be sure. 

I hope there won't be any problems so I can post more often (I know! Huhu.) If you now a good Blogger app for apple, please let me know. :)

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

This 2014

Photo from

I will not make any plans about being healthy. But I will try to be. God just gave me sweet tooth and I can't stay away from sugary goodness. I'm such a kid.

I will push myself to do more art. It is not to have something to post and for people to like. Art is for myself. I need it for my soul. No matter how bad I am with it, I want to write more (poems and what-nots) and to practice painting more. Do my own interpretation of life.

I will really go out to listen to music. Listen to live bands. To have a drink in hand and dance (okay, sway left and right) and just really be in the moment, be alive. Needless to say, I will also read more books.

I will watch less t.v. No problem with that since the DVD player's already busted. It bid farewell after serving me for years and me watching movies too many that I can't count anymore and almost endless episodes of tv series. Hopefully, I'll buy a new video cam and shoot all the way. Everybody was an amateur in this. I'll also have pictures printed and take time to arrange them in a special, lovingly made scrap books.

I will watch where my money goes. I will count my blessings and be more generous in sharing them.

I will make appointments and keep them.

I will go to places I've never been to before. I will make new mistakes and learn new lessons.

I will spend more time with friends. I keep on making excuses last 2013 because I wanted to be alone. It was a time of healing. But this year, I will make friends and family feel how special they are to me. I will be generous with my love.

And finally I will probably, just maybe fall in love. :)

Monday, December 30, 2013

Thank You 2013!

Wow you guys! One year has passed. Imagine that? And you are now reading my year-end post. Time goes by so fast huh? But I knew exactly where my time went. :)

2012 has been a rough year so even before 2013 started, I promised myself that I will make this year a year of new experiences. In more ways than one I have achieved that. That was my little New Year's Resolution, to be little less fearless--to say YES more. Year 2013 has been fairly good to me and I was able to gain new experiences that left me with valuable lessons. But of all the things, the most important thing I learned this year is that I am BRAVE and STRONG. Mas matapang at malakas pa pala ako sa inaakala ko. (Yes, I'm smiling as I'm typing that last sentence.)

So here are the highlights of my 2013:

  • Ran in my first Fun Run. 7-11's Run 800. Even though it was only a 5 km. run, I was so scared that I won't be able to run to the finish. I nearly wanted to back out. But turns out, I can finish a race. And this is when I fell in love with running. But I still won't call myself a runner. I just became more conscious about my health this year so I read more about it (Thank you, Runner's World PH! ) as well. Also, I had a problem with my knee so yeah. Read more about how my run went here

  • Ah. I don't write much about it but I went through a period of depression years back because I hated my course and I can't really decide what to do with my life. Actually, I wanted to do so many things that I lost my focus. Plus, I had to decide if I wanted a degree that will give me financial satisfaction or a degree that will leave me doing something that I love. But you know how sometimes those two things rarely or almost never come together. I felt less and so insecure than everyone else with my batchmates graduating college already and me stuck at work letting time slip away. This 2013, I faced my fear of other people's reaction of me still studying. While working, I enrolled myself in an A.B. Journalism course! So yes, I am brave. No matter how long of a time it took me to get here, I feel that I am finally on the right track. I chose something that I love. 

  • I started running because I want to climb a mountain and climb a mountain I did! Together with my friend, Arn, we climbed to the summit of Mt. Batulao in Batangas. Urong-sulong ako sa trip na 'to. Haha! I moved dates over and over. I keep making excuses because I'm so scared. I'm the only one planning the trip and we had to cross our fingers that there is still a tour guide to go with us despite the storm. Yes! How crazy are we to climb a mountain after a possibility of a storm was reported? Maybe we're not brave, we were plain crazy! Haha! I just felt a surge of adventure and guts that day that I had to take advantage of it, like it's now or never. Hopefully, I can post better pictures next climb. Yung walang clouds. Ha! (Read about the climb here. )

  • To visit Banaue Rice Terraces is on my bucket list. I just never thought I'll be going this year. We were supposed to come home from my aunt's wake (it was in Nueva Vizcaya) when I asked Papa if we could go. Malapit lang naman daw. But god, it was raining hard and the road going there was scarier than Baguio. You're really at the edge of the mountain. What a ride! We keep on stopping to quarrel among each other if we should go back. But my ever adventurous Papa decided we have go. Good thing we did. The Rice Terraces was indeed a sight to behold! I don't even have the words. I just want to sit and stare at the green stairs and thank God for everything. Really a good place to soul-search. It really is a Philippine treasure. I wish to go back there in a good weather (again with the weather!).

  • And last but most definitely not the least, the Christmas Party at Child Haus. It was a really rewarding and humbling experience. It made me appreciate simple things. It made me appreciate life. Charity is not given to make you feel better about yourself because you're more fortunate than others. It's aspiration must be to give hope and to make others feel that they are not alone. That there are people who cares.

One of my 2014 Resolutions is to continue making new experiences. I will not promise you anything else. But I will always try and make a conscious effort be a better Yella than I was a year before. I hope your 2013 was just as good as mine but if it isn't I wish you to bring its lessons to the following year and hope that your 2014 will be better. 

I welcome 2014 with much hope and gladness in my heart as I did the previous year. I claim it! It will be a great year! I wish you all have a Happy New Year too!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

That Christmas-y Feeling

This holiday I've been hearing so many people complain about how it is sometimes too hot or how they can't feel the festive feel of this season yet. Well, as far as I'm concerned, Christmas for me began last December 8 when we went and threw a party for the kids at Child Haus.

Child Haus serves as a temporary shelter for indigent children with cancer and other dreaded diseases from the province who are seeking medical treatments here in Manila. They provide free board and lodging. If there isn't a Child Haus sign outside the property, you would think of it as just an ordinary house as it is situated in a residential area in Quezon City. Every place in it is helped build by donations from different people and organizations. Hence the "This _____ (e.g kitchen) is donated by ______ " as a simple way to acknowledge the donors. 

Their wall is decorated with Fairytale characters where people can write words of encouragement for the kids. Cute!

The stage where we set up our gifts and prizes for some games.

The Kids

I really don't know what to expect at first. You know how I can be quiet at first but I can really ask a lot of questions sometimes but this time, I really don't know how to approach them. I'm quite torn between getting to know them more versus just leaving them alone to enjoy the program the clowns we hired  had prepared for them. I mean like, how should I ask point blank: "Uy, why are you here?" or "Anong sakit mo?"/"Cancer? What stage?" 

 I'm just not one to ask the kind of person to ask those questions on a first meeting (if you are, I don't know if I want to be friends with you.).  Those questions are way too personal. 

These kids are really very shy at first but it's really very easy to make them smile. Also, I have this innate Ate (big sister) feeling of wanting to protect them. I'm also hesitant to take pictures with them, I didn't go there to post selfies with these kids for the "likes" and "favorites" naman. But the event has touched me so much, I knew I had to share it. I know, I know, pusong mamon ako but what the heck. So again with protecting. I stopped myself from asking too many questions about their illness because first, we're here to make them feel that people care and not to a.) do a documentary or b.) do therapy sessions; and second, they're kids. They might not even know how bad things really are. 

Maybe they're actually better off not knowing. Maybe it's better for them to maintain their innocence. They are only kids after all. 

Ma (second from the left) and her friends from when she was at culinary school whom she organized the Outreach. 

See this cute little girl. Forgot to ask her name but gaaaah, she's really really cute. With her chubbiness, you won't know she's sick diba? And she likes taking pictures with us. :)

And here is Charmaine. Isn't she a pretty little thing? She can't walk alone though. Well, she can but they say she really needs someone to hold her hand while she does because she tires easily.

Gift-giving to mark the end of the program. 

One of the touching stories there was when their Chef asked a kid if he can still remember their group because they went there last year too, and he answered, "Ay hindi po eh, bulag na po kasi ako ngayon." (Sorry, I can't. I'm already blind.)

Kids singing their Thank You song. Well rehearsed. But they look bored doing it. Obviously, they've been doing the same routine for all the people who throws party there. But still, I cried. Nakakainis. :( I feel a little bad. 'Cause gahd, they have cancer or whatever disease they have and they're not crying. I don't want them to feel bad or sorry for themselves because of that girl who can't hide or stop her tears. Pero nakakaiyak talaga. Huhu. :( 

Okay. I allowed myself one selfie in this entire post.

Us with the kids.

 I hope to visit again. I hope to see different faces next year. Because when a kid leaves, it can either be because they are finally well or sadly, their condition turned for the worse. So I'm praying it's because they won their battle. Be strong kids! 

     Towards the end, I thought about what must be going on on these children't minds especially the older ones? Sanay na ba sila na halos kada linggo may nagseset-up ng Christmas Party for them? Is our party just another day in a life of a kid with cancer? Do they feel that people pity them (we can't help it--no one can) and how do they feel about it? Are they tired from their treatments? What if they're thinking that these events people throw are just pity party for them and these are just things people do to make them feel good about themselves? What if I just did this to feel good about myself? 

     I don't want to write and post this with just smiles and cheesy sayings. If anything, then yes, I want to be a therapist. But these kids are probably too innocent to worry about their diseases. They have not yet succumbed into the so-called abyss of depression unlike adults who are battling the same disease. Their families are probably the ones doing all the worrying for them. And for that I am a little bit thankful to these little angels for what they are and what they have---their innocence, hope and faith. It is my fervent prayer for God to bless me more so that I can be more of a blessing to others as well. Although I am ashamed of having to post this since I believe that one must not show off the help you give, I just want to dedicate this to all the people who are saying that they can't "feel" Christmas. Bear in mind that these kids are in a daily battle to add a day to their lives, to maybe even make it to next year's Christmas. 

If not for us, I wish we can do something to make others feel like it is Christmas. You know, pay it forward. A random act of kindness. I like doing mine in little (and of course, anonymous!) ways. I hope this wee lil' post touched something in you like it did mine. And I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

It's official! I am a lazy writer. Sayang ang creative juices. Huhu.. Yes, there are times I have something curious in mind but somehow I just shrug and sleep it off. I don't even bother to write my ideas down! I feel so bad. I complain about not having enough inspiration but the moment I do, I let the Zzzz's get the better of me. Well, that's the price you have to pay when you work night shifts. BUT there is no excuse for it. Just like an addict (to sleep) or an alcoholic, the first step is to admit your "illness". So I accept it, I am a lazy writer.

So I am writing and POSTING this as a commitment to write any ideas I care about that come to mind even if I don't have time to post it! (because eventually, I will!)

I will not be a lazy writer any more.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Maring and Other Rantings

As of this moment, PAGASA lowered the rain fall warning from Orange to a Yellow in Manila and nearby areas.  It's 1:30 am on a Wednesday and I'm just hearing soft drizzle outside our window as I'm typing this post. It has been raining non-stop since Sunday. All I did was read and watch updates and review for Midterm on subjects I have yet to take exams on. 

I was doing my usual blog hopping when I chanced upon a blog on . It's a compilation of commentaries from a group now branded as Anonymous Incorporated. If you check it out here, it's an expose by Anonymous people regarding the people and the pork barrel scam. It is very appalling to read all the information they have. I understand why they preferred to be anonymous. E talaga namang 'buwis-buhay' ang mga information na binigay nila. Plus, they're right. Media can and has the tendency to manipulate everything. 

They sound like they are operating within the Napoles Company. One comment even said that all the issue (e.g Cotabato bombing) and others outshined the Pork Barrel issue. Let me just play the devil's advocate here, what if all the those other issues (masking as terrorist attacks) were really orchestrated by those in power and are involved with this controversy to divert peoples attention away from the scam? Afterall, media will always focus on the latest issue, the latest "buzz". I say, we must remain vigilant about this. This is our money.

Yes, my tax may be puny compared to others pero kabawasan pa rin yun sa sweldo ko. I am a taxpayer. I work (on a night shift--if that adds any more bearing) and I am a student at the same. But I am not working just to give a portion of my hard earned money to finance the lavish lifestyle of those in power. Like a tweet said (I think it was Ramon Bautista who said this), "Kung ordinaryong snatcher nga na barya lang nakukuha, ginugulpi ng taumbayan. Pa'no yung bilyon-bilyon?"

Don't you just feel they played us for a fool? At kung patuloy tayong magbubulag-bulagan, aba, hindi lang tayo mahiya sa sarili natin. Mahiya tayo sa mga pamilya natin, o sa future families natin--sa mga anak o apong pamamanahan natin ng ganito kabulok na sistema. Idadamay natin sila sa katangahan natin. Hindi ka makikialam dahil wala kang magagawa? Then at least be informed. React. Don't just go to work every day, complain about the Taxes and Deductibles you get on your payslip and then go back to work again. Don't be a robot. 

Now that the Philippines is experiencing the wrath of Maring, we should all the more be concerned of what happened with the pork barrel. Let's not fool ourselves thinking we can get the money back. But maybe the government can at least form an independent body to investigate the guilty parties and if the PDAF can't be abolished, it should at least be regulated. They must not get away with this. And I ask, why didn't Department of Budget see this? Why didn't anyone check the supposed NGO's who will receive a portion of PDAF? Some of the alleged NGO's offices were non-existent and they weren't able to investigate that? Grabe lang. Well, of course 2 things, it's either they're really stupid and of course, they went under the table. It's a no brainer really. 

All those billions could've built infrastructures to prevent all the flood, put doctors to clinics in the barrios, built more houses and roads, and sent more children to schools. But instead our taxes went to the Porshes, luxury bags and cars and houses of these greedy people. 

*Sigh* The Anonymous Inc. wanted to get rid of them (politicians involved) so bad, that they think the only way to solve these problem is to kill them all (yeah, really!). Purge all of them and elect new sets of officials. Then the movie The Purge comes into mind and I imagine people doing a killing spree to eliminate corrupt congressmen and senators! Ayayayy! There will be utter chaos. But of course, I abhor violence even though really, if you think about it, there really is no way this can be resolved because they have money and most of all, power--power that people gave them when they got elected. 

I wish the government could focus on long-term (even if it takes a long time) solution to flooding. I think we all have a part on it naman. The government for not building any flood-preventing infrastructures, the informal settlers who refuse to relocate and irresponsible people who still throw garbages anywhere and everywhere. Well ayan, inanod na ni Maring ang basura, magkalat na ulit kayo. (That's sarcastically speaking just in case you still have to wrap your head around it.) Taon-taon nalang Pray for the Philippines ang drama natin. I'm not being insensitive but I'm just saying, kung laging magte-trend world wide ang baha sa atin, it may affect the number of tourists that will visit our country. Sayang ang effort ng Department of Tourism. Or the tourists may not come back once they get the "Baha"mas experience in our country.

Anyway, enough with the blame game. Let's get into the issue that needs our immediate attention because a lot of people need all the help they can get right now. Even though I am thankful that me and my family are all safe, I feel somewhat guilty about it. Hehe. I am so blessed to be safe so I feel like I need to give back to others who are affected. 

So here are some info on how we can help:

  • Check out ReliefPh website for important updates.
  • Also check out Rappler's website on list of donation drop-off points and evacuation centers.
  • If you know anyone who needs to be rescued, text: RescuePH
    to 26008
  • If you are in short of cash, look for places nearby where you can volunteer (you can repack goods, help in the distribution etc.)
  • Donate to Red Cross Philippines just by texting the ff:
RED (space) Amount to 2899 for Globe and 4143 for Smart subscribers
You can donate the following denominations:
Globe: 5, 25, 100, 300, 500 or 1000
Smart: 10, 25, 50, 100, 300, 500 or 1000.

I read that DSWD's National Resource Operations Center (NROC) are in need of volunteers. For more info you can contact 02-8528081 or 02-8512681 or visit their headquarters at NAIA Chapel Road, Pasay City.

Caritas Manila is also accepting volunteers and donations. Interested parties may go to their office at 2002 Jesus St. Pandacan, Manila.

For Maring Related tweets, you can hashtag #MaringPh, #RescuePh, #Safenow or #ReliefPh if you need help and to provide and/or get more updates. 

Here are some important numbers in case of emergency:

Oh, and of course my dears, if you want to volunteer, make sure your areas are passable as well and your own safety must be the priority. So if you're complaining about boredom, go out there, make yourself useful and do something worthwhile. Feed your spirit. :)